Music and Expression

I know I stand in a small group when it comes to music, from a Player perspective.  I love the way It pushes emotions from deep inside my soul, out through the tips of my fingers.  I am not always Blue and I don’t always Feel like Dancing the Night Away.  I am not mostly performing in front of a crowd, so I can’t draw off of what an audience might be craving at any particular time. I think what makes me a part of a relatively small cross-section of musicians, is that Improvisation is what drives me the hardest.

I am not always playing. I have always felt I have been a Listener, far longer than I have been a Player.  But, as I also realize, I don’t always play what I like to listen to.  

Complimentary to that, I don’t always listen to what I like to play, genre-ally speaking.  Part of the reason, I believe, is because when I am playing, I am expressIng how I feel at any particular moment and when I am listening, I am choosing to hear what I want to feel like, or how I was feeling like.

The thing I like most about Radio, is the variation of material from song to song.  There are Rock Stations, Country Stations, and at one time Jazz Stations 😎, but I often tire from listening to one particular genre for too long.  Maybe tiring is not quite the right word.  Perhaps complacent or uninspired is closer to how I feel.

My own recordings are perhaps an exception, not because I am an egoist, though like most artists, it’s probably true to a certain extent, but because I am also very self-critical.  I am listening for mistakes that I can learn from…something I did, which may have worked, but had not intended.  

In music, mistakes are not always a negative thing.  Some are called Accidentals.  I have expanded that to include what I call, Intentionals, which are like intentional accidentals.  I’m not sure if that is a real musical thang but if it isn’t, it should be.

Finally, with regards to my own recordings, I am listening for technical faults.  For me, it is part of being a Musician.  It doesn’t matter that you’re playing the right chord, if your instrument is out of tune or your amp is cranked and the speakers are crackling.  As a Listener, the satisfaction comes after the sound enters my ears.  I get very distracted by sonic infidelities and other residual interferences.  How I intended the song to sound, as a Player, does little to satisfy me, as a Listener.  

I often do things I didn’t intend, musically, that is…and it isn’t all bad… I think it is those times, when I feel most content, when playing music.  I learn something.  It is somewhere between not knowing what I’m doing, because I have never done it, and knowing exactly what I am doing because while it is happening, it seems quite logical and ordinary, as though I have done it a million times.

Improvising music, if I were to try and describe it in a physical realm, is orgasmic.  While my heart is bleeding emotions, my soul is being massaged by the sounds.  

When improvising, I am less concerned about making mistakes because mistakes are inclusive.

Does it mean I don’t like playing songs? No. Often that is how I come up with songs. Sometimes I am Blue and I start out that way and before long, maybe I do feel like dancing.

I’m just saying… Improvising music is fun.

Sysop

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